For many years, I have wanted to attend the Jewish high holy day services. I have often been stopped by the difficulty of getting tickets, my own schedule etc. and the years went by. This year it finally happened. Last night my husband and I attended a Yom Kippur service with my sister and her husband. The day was especially meaningful because yesterday was the 20th anniversary of our father's death. How powerful to sit next to my sister and hear our father's name read in the list of those who were being remembered, a part of the ritual that is very similar to the remembrance of the dead which we do on All Saints Day.
Yom Kippur is a beautiful service. It is largely a day of atonement with many prayers of confession but there are many other parts as well. The nearly two hours flew by! The music was wonderful and the prayers rich in poetry and meaning. I was especially soothed by the Hebrew. It is a beautiful language to listen to even if you don't understand it. When I was in seminary, I studied Hebrew for two years. Most of the language is lost to me now but I still understand the occasional word and suspect that if I put some time into it my understanding might return. When will I ever have time for that!?
Another part of the liturgy included prayers for healing. As someone who has just, as of September 8, finished an eight month regime of treatment for breast cancer, I could personally appreciate the prayers. At one point the rabbi talked about how we never think illness will cross our paths, that it will always be someone else. That certainly fits me!
The service last night helped me acknowledge that I am now moving into the rest of 2010 as a cancer free person. Given that my illness has dominated all of 2010 up to this point, I am still trying to adjust to what it means to be cancer free and treatment free. The months and months of driving to the hospital, the months and months of pain, fatigue, emotional ups and downs have now been reduced to one pill a day. What does it all mean?
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