Saint Mary

Following a 3 day whirlwind tour of DC with my older daughter's 8th grade class, I headed to Baltimore to visit my dear friend Mary. As I step into her world, I am flooded with memories of living in a poor neighborhood in which I had a woman who was constantly fighting with her boyfriend in the row house on one side and a family in which I could hear the children being abused in the row house on the other side. I lived in that house for 10 years trying to be a presence of hope in a challenging situation. Then I burned out. I will never forget the day I sat on my back step looking at the garbage in the yard next to me, smoking a cigarette and thinking "I can't do this anymore". It was then that the journey toward moving to Seattle started. My close friend Mary has stayed. Of course, I would never have expected her to move as she runs a system of homeless shelters that she started in 1978. Project PLASE now houses hundreds of homeless from the mentally disabled for whom PLASE was started to Aids patients who have no place to live. Mary works constantly, always trying to raise money in a decidely unfriendly environment. She still lives in the home she purchased more than 30 years ago in west Baltimore in a neighborhood that is a couple of blocks from the area where season one of "The Wire" (television series about drug dealing and homicide) was filmed. In one of our conversations, Mary was once again bemoaning the fact that she was yet to see "The Wire". I told her that she lives in the midst of "The Wire" so there was no need to watch it. This was confirmed one morning during breakfast as I watched young men in the vacant lot behind Mary's small urban yard. Every time we sat at her table there was a fair amount of activity in this space. I thought "How terrific. They must be working on an urban garden." I finally asked Mary what these guys were doing. She casually said "Oh, there's a lot of drug dealing that goes on back there." I thought to myself about how I have definitely lost my street smarts. Mary is amazing. Despite the fact that she has lived among the poor and, in this case, dangerous, for all this time, she has never had anything happen to her. Her shelters are mostly in poor areas. She is a holy woman who attends daily mass and has worked on behalf of the poor and neglected her entire adult life. She is one of the most content people I know. Sharing her friendship is a gift and a blessing. She is a saint.

Belonging and Behaving

Having finished Diana Butler Bass' book Christianity After Religion, I am struck by her claim that the majority of people are drawn to religious communities in which belonging and behaving are the top priorities. By that, she means, churches in which people value each other in a deep and meaningful way. In these communities, people do not attempt to wear masks and conceal what is going on in their hearts and lives.

The behaving part has to do with the community's involvement in significant works of service.

What people actually believe is at the bottom of the list. This is true of all religious communities whether they are Christian, Jewish, Muslim or anything else. In fact, the religious communities that do not honor and respect other traditions are in the decline.

She, of course, is talking about Western civilization. This is something I have certainly observed in my conversations with people both in and out of religious communities. The way people treat each other is vastly more important than the details of any belief system. Churches that do not offer opportunities for community service have little chance of surviving.

This 'n That

I have been reading as much as possible which has been absolutely wonderful.  Yesterday I took a break from my Benedictine rhythm of work, prayer and study and went to see the movie Bully.  It was a disturbing movie but in the end hopeful.  It is one of those important movies, certainly not entertaining but still one I would highly encourage people to see.  

After the movie, I felt very unsettled and so while my daughter was involved in something near the Riley Skate Park in Farmington Hills, I went and sat at the park and watched kids skateboard while I read.  It was a healing experience as there were all kinds of kids there - from elementary age to young adult, several different races as well as those with a ton of tattoos to those who looked as though they had on a school uniform.  Everyone got along, lots of good skateboarding.  It was nice.

The daily office readings have been full of landscape images.  I am seeing them through an entirely different lens having finished The Solace of Fierce Landscapes.  I also finished Diana Butler Bass' new book Christianity After Religion, another enlightening book.  She does a great job of interpreting the whole spiritual but not religious movement that has been afoot for many years.  She does an in-depth analysis of the current spiritual awakening.

When it comes to religion, the Great Turning is less of a turn toward something completely new and unknown; it is more of a Great Returning to an ancient understanding, of finding a forgotten path of wonder and awe through the wilderness of human chaos and change.  p. 97

Being a Benedictine at Home

Of all of the monastic traditions, that of the Benedictines has always held the most appeal for me.  It is the combination of prayer, study and work that has captured my heart.  During the past week since being home from New Mexico, I have moved into a more regular rhythm of that life.  The most significant change from that of my life when I am working full-time is that of reading a great deal  more than I am able to do when working at church.  This has been a wonderful gift.

Last night I finished Belden Lane's The Solace of Fierce Landscapes.  This was one of the best books on spirituality I have read in years.  Books such as this are a rare find for those of us who have had profound experiences of God in the wilderness.  Now I have begun Diana Butler Bass' new book Christianity after Religion.  This is an entirely different read as it explores what has been happening in the American religious landscape over the past 30 years.  It is both challenging and exciting.

Prayer and scripture reading are a significant part of my day; it is wonderful to have the luxury of not being on a time schedule with these sacred acts.   My heart is calming.

Planting in the Right Place

For years I have tried to grow cilantro.  I have planted plants which have not survived being transplanted and then tried growing it from seeds.  The efforts have been met with little success.

Last year toward the end of the summer, I noticed cilantro growing under the rose bushes.  How did it get here?  Perhaps we threw one of the dead plants in that direction at some point.  This particular location is no where near the herb garden.  I asked my husband and he could not offer an explanation.  Then during the traditional family yard work day on Mother's Day, I discovered an abundance of cilantro right in the same place.  The plants loom large and will provide enough cilantro for an abundance of dishes.  How did this happen?  Why is this location the perfect location?  I am reminded of Jesus' parable of the sower in Matthew 13.

I don't exactly know how this revelation of the earth will shape my ministry as a whole but I do know that one of the discoveries I am making on my sabbatical is the deep desire to return to some level of retreat work. In the first ten years of my ministry, I frequently took groups on retreat.  My time at Ghost Ranch reawakened in me the desire to go into the "wilderness" with people and so I will pursue getting a group together from St. John's and perhaps the larger diocese to do a Desert Mothers retreat at Ghost Ranch sometime in 2013, perhaps teaming with a male colleague who would do a Desert Fathers retreat.  The landscape at Ghost Ranch provides its own spiritual awakening.  I want so much for others to experience the power of this fierce landscape.

Prickly Pear in Bloom

Toward the end of my stay in the desert, I found a number of prickly pear plants in bloom.  They spoke to me in a big way!

WE are the Desert Mothers

When I first arrived on this retreat, I was not in a place to socialize.  I was so tired and close to burnout that I just did not want to talk to anyone.  The prickly pear plant, so prevalent in this landscape, resembled my stretched and torn heart.  I found all kinds of reasons to keep my distance.  But as the week progressed, I encountered the wonder of these women, a mixture of lay and ordained.  Gradually we moved from learning about the desert mothers to becoming desert mothers with all that that entails; silence and prayer woven with heart felt conversation and holy laughter.  Our vans became Amma 1 and Amma 2 as we journeyed to the places of spiritual richness that surround this area.  By the end, I felt a connection to this group of women all of whom brought their own wounds and gifts to this retreat.